Care and Not Cure

Why is it that men especially always want to fix things? I mean, when someone comes to me with a problem my first reaction always seems to be," Well so and so, if you just did this, or I remember the time I did this and this happened...we always want to lead with the "quick fix" or advice when sometimes that not at all what's being asked for. ( This is especially true in our marrige). We always go for the cure first before the caring. We forget the saying that says, "no one really will care to hear what you know until they know you care."

I was reminded of this recently from a book I have been reading titled "One Anothering" and also from some things we have been learning about our spousal and children relationships in the Men's Fraternity class.

Sometimes it's not the cure or solving of the problem people are looking for, but rather, they just need someone to talk to, to listen to them, to affirm that what they are feeling is valid and to share with them in their pain or problem. I think this is what Paul referred to as "bear with one another eachother's burdens and thus fufill the law of Christ" Galations 6:2

The scripture also exhorts us to "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" James 1:19. Sometimes, just letting a person drag their fear, difficulty, grief or anger out in the light by letting them talk while you listen is all we need to do to start the process of healing. In addition, it gives us, the listener, the proper information to know how to pray for the person and love them in the situation.

You won't have to look very far to see a bunch of hurting people out there. And you also won't have to look very hard to see the barrage of advice on how to deal with your problems, your hurts and difficulties from Oprah to Dr Phil to the 6:00pm news. What you won't see alot of is people who are willing to just listen and care in a face to face situation...

I don't look at this a negative, however, but rather an opportunity to grow in love and care for eachother... Not to show, how much you know or try to "fix" the other person, but rather, how much you care. We should start, by practicing this with those who are closest to us...family, church family, friends...those in need.

I say all these things not as an expert or even a consistant practicer of this, but as one who desperately desires to grow in my care and love for others. I envision what Jesus was saying that if we do the things He taught us to do, especially in loving one another, which becoming better listeners and carers of one another this is one way we could love, the world would know we are His disciples and that He is real...after all, is that not what it is really all about?

Peace...Vince